It is 4:00 in the morning and I cant sleep. I have been watching Amy all night long. Unfortunately we have seen her begin to decline fairly rapidly the past few days. She as had definite decreases in her cognitive abilities and we have been struggling to keep her oxygen saturation in the safe range. Amy's appetite has dwindled to almost nothing over the past several days and she is barely eating anything at all. I am afraid that the tumors in her brain are beginning to really take their toll on her and more treatment is out of the question. It seems to be getting harder and harder for her to finish sentences or to answer questions. And she is having difficulty thinking of words. She does seem to be able to remember things fairly well and once in a while, she will talk to us as if nothing has changed.
Though I know that Amy's time is short with us, we are so grateful for the time that was bought by the radiation to her brain. The past few months have been so precious to us and we have created memories that will last a lifetime. Amy has spent so much time trying to do things for us that will help us to know that she will always be there for us even though we may not see her. I know that she will always be there watching out for her children and myself.
We knew these things were coming, but they seem to be happening way to fast. No matter how hard you try to prepare yourself tor these things, it still is so hard to sit here and watch and feel helpless. Amy has been blessed in that we have been able to manage her pain very well. She is not in any pain most of the time and it seems to be hurting less and less to move her when we need to. That is a tremendous blessing at this time. From time to time she does seem to have moments when she seems more alert and wants to talk but those times are happening less and less. She is sleeping more and more and it is getting harder and harder to wake her and carry on a conversation with her. Oh how I wish I could make this all go away. But I know that we must pass through this trial for some purpose which at times seems so hard to understand. And yet through this all, I have felt at peace and am feeling more at peace every day with what we are going through. I know that this peace is a result of all the faith and prayers that have been offered in our behalf and that it is a gift from our Heavenly Father. Thank you all for your continued prayers, help and support throughout this difficult time in our lives
Also, we are looking forward to a benefit concert here in Santaquin on July 10th at 6:00 PM behind the city center at Center Street and 100 South. Peter Breinholt will be the featured artist and he will be joined by several other local artists including: Firehawk and Kathleen Howard Provstgaard. All of the proceeds will be donated to the Amy Jackson Charitable fund to help us pay for medical and funeral expenses. I have seen Peter Breinholt in concert before and it promises to be a great show. We would love to see as many of you their as possible and I will be attending that event for sure. I would love to meet any of you who may have been touched by Amy or her story in some way. It is my greatest hope that somehow our story will be able to touch the lives of others and help them to be strengthened or uplifted in some way. Amy has touched so many lives during her short time on this earth and I know that she will continue to touch lives long after she is gone from among us. We are so grateful to Kathleen Provstgaard and all of the artists involved for their efforts in making this event possible. We continue to be overwhelmed with all the love and support from our community and from others everywhere who have been so generous.
We love you all